The Night Before Christmas
by loopylou992
Summary: Entry for Slash Writers Workshop Christmas In My Home town. Edward hated Christmas with a passion with good reason; this year he wanted things to be different following a chance encounter. Will he get what he wants for Christmas? *Slash*


**This was my entry for the Slash Writers Workshop Christmas In My Hometown competition, it didn't win or place, but seeing as this is only my second ever attempt at slash, and it's all based in my home town and places I know, I LOVE IT and am very proud of it. Rated M for a reason, if you are not old enough then…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of these characters and no copyright infringement is intended.**

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I wasn't looking forward to working today; it was Friday and Christmas Eve. Neither were fun, but combine them add my hatred of festive frivolity and you had the perfect combination for a bad day at work for me. People would be finishing work at lunchtime, heading straight to the nearest pub, not leaving until they were carried out. I hadn't heard of this before I came to Leeds, so I guessed it was a strange local tradition, they called it Mad Friday. Working two jobs was necessary to get myself through University thanks to rising tuition fees, but I didn't want to give up on my dream. Being from London I expected everything they said about it being grim up north, to be true. That's not what I found. Leeds was a vibrant, cosmopolitan city with lots of fantastic architecture where Victorian Arcades mixed with modern buildings filled with glass and steel, the people, yeah... they were okay.

To make as much money as possible, I'd been working for an agency that provided waiting staff for functions. I'd worked every job they offered me in the run up to Christmas. These were Christmas parties that were nothing more than an excuse to eat, get pissed up, dance like you were having some kind of seizure, followed by a quickie in the toilets or car park that you regretted for months afterward. Yeah, I had seen it all in the last month. I hated working these as once the women got a little too much free wine inside them, my arse was fair game for squeezing and I had been given so many phone numbers it was laughable. If only they knew why I had knocked them back. I used to nod and smile at them, saying that I was working and couldn't possibly, but the real reason was that the thought of being with a woman was the furthest thing from my mind and physically turned my stomach... as I was gay. There was one exception to my polite but firm refusals that ended up hot and heavy in the cloakroom one night. I got a blow-job that had me wanting so much more. I never got his number, which I regretted. He left me panting desperately against the wall. He really was something else.

I made my way across Millennium Square, pulling the collar on my jacket up. One thing I noticed living in Leeds was the winters definitely felt colder than I was used to.

Walking toward the busy shopping area, knowing that at this time, it would be packed with people playing the traditional game of _'Christmas shopping chicken'_. This meant leaving your present buying until Christmas Eve, then heading out and doing it all in the one day. I shook my head as I stepped onto Briggate, the main street in the city. It was packed with last minute Christmas shoppers and I could now see where the colloquial saying _'it's like Briggate' _came from. For the first time I truly understood it as I fought my way through the crowds. I had to get to work and that involved passing the Salvation Army band playing Christmas carols outside Marks and Spencers.

Once I arrived at the bar, The Viaduct, I slipped in through the side door and nodded to the DJ who waved me over when he saw me. I hadn't seen Phil for a couple of weeks when we worked the same Christmas party night. "Hey Ed, you've had someone in here looking for you. I think he was at one of those awful parties we worked. He was in here asking after you. He wanted your phone number."

My heart leapt in my chest - it could only be him, the man who left me wanting more.

"Did you give it to him? Did he leave his?" I was hopeful that either had happened.

Phil gave me an apologetic smile, "Sorry no, but I wouldn't give it to him or anyone who just asked. I don't work like that. We both know that there are some real weirdo's around here." My face fell. Phil seemed worried as he asked, "Did I do the wrong thing?"

How could I honestly tell him that yes, he did the wrong thing. I wanted him to have my number or me his. I wanted that more than anything, but fate dealt me a hand and once again, I was left with the shitty cards. Story of my life.

"No, it's okay. I'm sure that he will catch up with me, eventually. If you do see him again, if he asks, you can give him my number. It's okay." Phil nodded in agreement before he turned to speak to someone who was trying to get a song played. I left him to it, glancing around me saw that the usual crowd was in plus some not so familiar faces. Jake was manning the bar alone as I slipped upstairs to get changed into my uniform. I say uniform, but there was no way on earth that a pair of snug fitting boxer briefs and small waistcoat could be called a uniform. When I first started working here, I felt self-conscious, but now it was normal. You just had to be careful as you stepped from behind the bar as there was no end of grabbing and groping that went on by men and women alike. The bar was a gay venue, but welcomed all within its walls. The only rule...no trouble.

Once I was changed, I made my way downstairs and took up my position behind the bar, trying to ignore Jake, who extra chatty. I didn't want to be working today. I truly hated Christmas; I'd been looking forward to spending the day alone in my room at the student house I shared. My housemates had gone to spend Christmas with their nearest and dearest. Me? I had no one, well no one that I wanted to spend time with. I had been asked if I could work Christmas Day and offered triple pay to do so. I wasn't going to say no. I needed the money plain and simple. The bar would open from 11am until 2 pm, giving us enough time to clear up and set up a long table in the bar for the compulsory Christmas dinner. It was to be served after we watched the Queen's Speech at 3 pm. _Have I mentioned how much I hate these stupid traditions?_

The afternoon was filled with people leaving work and heading straight to the pub, making the most of the happy hour prices on offer. It was hard to keep on top of who was next to be served at times. It felt like everyone was a smart arse, waving real and that stupid plastic mistletoe at me, hoping to get a kiss; they honestly had no chance. What was worse when I ventured out from behind the bar to collect glasses, my arse was groped and I was asked several times if Santa was going to fill my stocking for me or had I been a good boy this year. I just got on with my job and tried to ignore them. Every time I saw someone with blonde hair, my attention was drawn to them as I wondered if it was him. _Would he come in tonight? _I mean it was Christmas Eve, then again, he would probably have a boyfriend he would be spending the night with. Jealously ran through me, driving me crazy just as my imagination did every time I thought about him. Was it really possible to form such strong feelings for someone I had not actually spoken to, but had such an intense interaction with? I needed to put him out of my mind. If it was meant to be, then it would be.

The only lull came about 6pm and I took full advantage of it, grabbing a microwave meal and wolfing it down before I headed out to the smoking area for a much needed cig. I had never been so grateful for outdoor heaters in my life. It was cold and I swear it felt like it was going to snow. It would be amazing if it did. Despite the pictures painted on Christmas cards, it rarely snowed in Britain at Christmas. Normally, it was cold, grey and miserable. In my mind, I fit right in here.

I saw the resident drag artistes had arrived, smiling as they walked through the bar as if they owned the place. In all honesty though, they did. They were the stars of our cabaret show with the bar being well known for its drag shows. Tonight, there was to be a special show. No one had seen it and all the details were kept under wraps.

Making my way back to the bar, Jake called out, "Hey, Ed, did you see the dancers that went through there?"

I shook my head, "Nah, was outside. They not the normal guys?"

"Hell no! They were hot man... seriously hot. I might pop backstage to see if they have found their dressing rooms and if they need anything." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Taking an order from a customer, I pulled two pints of lager, shouting down the bar, "You really need to have some standards, Jake. Is there anyone in here you haven't fucked "

He laughed, then looked around the bar before he pointed out a couple of older customers, "Yeah, those two."

I found myself laughing for the first time today, forgetting my misery. Jake seemed to think that fucking around was the way to go. That he would bag himself a rich sugar daddy. I was older and wiser than him. I knew that he would only be seen as easy, but that was his problem... not mine.

He retorted, "You should maybe show me someone that you have fucked. I mean you are practically a monk. You never date; I've never seen you show any interest in anyone."

This stopped me laughing instantly. There was no need for my personal life to be shouted across the bar and I knew that people were listening intently. I needed to play this smart, "Listen Jake, just 'cause you're the resident bike around here, doesn't mean that we all have to be."

"Ouch... you bitch!" He stormed off to the far end of the bar. That suited me just fine.

I continued to serve my end of the bar as more and more people came through the doors and again, applied my nod and smile routine every time someone mentioned Christmas. I internally groaned when the DJ played the usual rounds of cheesy tunes that were requested. I couldn't wait for tonight to be over. Seriously if I had to hear _Wizzard's - '__I_ _Wish It Could Be Christmas'_ or _Slade's - 'Merry Christmas Everyone',_one more time, I feared I would kill someone. I seemed to be the only one here that was miserable tonight and I really didn't care.

I hoped it wouldn't be just the two of us tonight working the bar. I so was pleased when Mike and Tyler stepped behind the bar to join us. Tonight was going to be busy, especially as we were open until 2 am. The cabaret was due to start in half an hour, so people would surge to the bar before it started and once each set finished. Sam, who owned the bar, came down from the flat above and was all smiles. He stood with the DJ, who from his stand could see the entire pub. Then suddenly, he was stood in front of me on the customer's side of the bar, only I didn't see him and thought he was another customer wanting to be served when I said, "What do you want?" in brusque tone.

When I made eye contact, his reply came as no surprise, "A word. Outside once the show starts." He turned and left. I watched as he walked through the bar, saying hello and exchanging hugs and air kisses with people as he went. Great...now the boss wanted to talk to me and he didn't look happy.

I got on with serving the customers and tried to put the thought out of my mind. All too quickly, the DJ was announcing that the show was about to start. I saw Sam head outside into the smoking area. At least I knew where to find him.

I grabbed my cigs and lighter from under the bar and turned to Tyler, "Sam wants me. If you need me, I'll be outside." I didn't expect or wait for any response. As I stepped out from behind the bar, I glanced toward the stage just as Miss Trixibelle stepped out to rapturous applause from the crowd. I caught a glimpse of the dancers on stage. It was literally a glimpse, but I thought that I recognised one of them.

I was trying to get a clear look at him when I heard Sam calling me, "Hey, Edward, you wanna shift your arse out here? I don't have all night to stand around while you perve on the dancers."

"Sorry Sam, I thought... never mind." Joining him outside, I could not shake the feeling that I knew the guy on stage. I just needed a closer look to be sure.

Lighting up a cig, I took a deep drag, waiting for Sam to speak.

I didn't have to wait long, "Edward, I really don't wanna be having this conversation with you tonight with it being Christmas, but you really gotta put a smile on that miserable face of yours. I don't know what your deal is, but for fuck's sake cheer up! Everyone around you is happy, enjoying themselves and then there is you." He paused letting his words land, watching for my reaction, "Look, all I am asking is, that you make an effort for the rest of tonight and your shift tomorrow. If you want to skip dinner, I understand. You know that you are more than welcome. I appreciate that not everyone likes this time of year but hell, make an effort."

He walked away from me, toward the bar with its loud music. He paused and turned back to me, "Oh, and Edward, head down to the dressing rooms and find out what our guests would like to drink when they have done their first set. They can manage the bar without you."

I nodded before I pulled myself together, put out my cig and made my way to the back stage area. It was dark back here, as I opened the door to where the drag artiste and the dancers were, I stuck my head around and asked, "Can I get you guys anything..." I got no more than that out before I was grabbed and pushed up against the wall.

I was pinned in place by a six foot man in a sequined outfit and a face full of make-up, "Yeah, your number, sweetheart."

I was shocked and a little surprised this just didn't happen. I heard a deep voice behind him, "Back off; leave the poor guy alone. Seriously, I am too tired for this shit. Just tell him what you want to drink. Me? I'll have a couple of bottles of water."

The hold on me was released and then with a smile, as if nothing had happened he said, "JD, straight up." Before laughing at his humour.

I quickly took orders from the rest of the people and left. I tried to see who it was who had helped me, but couldn't, so I headed back to the bar. When I went back with their drinks, I was relieved to see that the guy who grabbed me earlier was busy reapplying make up before they went back on stage. I wanted to thank my rescuer, but all I saw was his back as he stood at the fire door having a sneaky cig. I put the drinks down and left.

The rest of the night went by without further incident. I put my best fake smile on and served everyone. I continued to brush off offers of kisses under mistletoe and filling of my stockings, with more grace and humor than I had previously. Too quickly, it was time for the finale of the cabaret and we were told that we had to be ready to go onto the stage at the end. I hated the thought of that, but what Sam wanted, Sam got.

We stood at the side of the stage and Jake was right at the front eyeing up the dancers. I rolled my eyes, he really was looking for someone to take home tonight, but I couldn't blame him. Who really wanted to wake up alone on Christmas morning?

Deep down I didn't. I missed waking up wrapped in someone's arms, feeling wanted and loved, but after last Christmas, I really just wanted this one to be over.

I stood listening to the music, my thoughts wandered to last Christmas Eve when I was happy and in love. Yeah, won't make that mistake again.

_I was let off work early. I was working in a shop in the city __centre__ and my boss took pity on me. She told me to go home, knowing that I was looking forward to my first Christmas with Riley. I had driven her mad with our plans. I ran out of work without thinking to tell him I was coming home early. This would be a surprise; it was, in more ways than one.__  
__  
I stopped at the local off license, picking up a bottle of chilled champagne. Turning my key in the lock, I could hear voices. I hoped that he would be alone and that his friends wouldn't be here. Selfishly, I was looking forward to spending Christmas Eve with my man...just the two of us. My heart pounded in my chest as I closed the door silently and walked towards the source of the noise. The living room - It sounded like he was watching porn, but the noises didn't sound like they were coming from the telly. _

_There were no lights on, only the soft glow emitted from the fairy lights on the Christmas tree. I stood in the doorway - my whole world stopped spinning on it's axis for a split second. Riley was kneeling on the sofa, arms spread across the back for support as Paul mercilessly pounded into him. They hadn't heard me and I stood there, my chest heaving as I heard Riley groaning in pleasure. Expletives fell from his lips as he betrayed me...I felt sick. I could not take this in, and then Paul spoke, "Fucking hell, Riley! Oh my god, you feel so good."_

_Riley turned towards Paul, a smile on his lust filled face, until he saw me standing there, "Fuck! Edward!"_

_Paul didn't get what Riley was trying to tell him as he continued to pound into him, "It's you I wanna fuck, not that stuck up fucker. Don't talk about him... you're killing it for me."_

_Panic rose in __Riley's__' voice as he removed one hand from the back of the sofa and started to hit Paul, "No, Paul, he's here. Fuck! Edward's..."_

_I managed to finish the sentence for him, "Standing right here. Watching you fuck my boyfriend."_

_Paul's head spun around so fast I thought the he'd get whiplash. I wanted to punch him, but I couldn't move. It was like I was frozen to the spot._

_I watched as Paul pulled out of Riley, before grabbing his jeans, pulling them back on. He didn't seem bothered at all. It was Riley who looked close to tears._

_After grabbing the throw from the end of the sofa, he pleaded, "Baby, please? I'm sorry."_

_Paul sneered, "Sorry? What for? You weren't saying that earlier when I fucked you in the shower... you wanted more, you begged for it."_  
_  
I gave him an icy glare, holding up my hand. I didn't want to hear what he had to say. He quickly got the idea and shut up. I turned back to Riley and in a low voice asked the only question I could think to ask, "Why?"_

_Tears ran down his face, "I don't know, I love you, Ed..."_

_Anger raged through me, "You love me? Really? Well if this is how you show me you love me, I would hate to see what you'd do if you hated me." I paced the room, "How long?"_  
_  
"Edward I... I..." He whimpered._

_My patience snapped, my voice rose, "How fucking long? Answer me!"_

_Paul answered, my head snapped to where he was stood as he confessed, "Three months. The first time was..."_

"No! Please don't," Riley screamed.

_Paul ignored him, "At the party you threw for __Riley's'__ birthday. It's been going on ever since."_

_My eyes sought Riley's', he couldn't look at me. _

_My next question, I didn't want answered, but I had to know. "Why?"_

_Riley answered through his sobs, "I don't know, it just happened. I never wanted you to find out like this. I planned to tell you. We planned to tell you but..."_

_"But what, Riley? You couldn't find a way to say... Sorry, Edward, I don't want to be with you as I'm busy getting fucked by your best friend?"_

_The silence in the room was palpable. Yes, Paul was my best friend. We'd been through everything together growing up. Hell, we were each other's firsts after we both realized we were gay. Now, I wanted to kill him, tear him limb from limb._

_Suddenly Paul was in my face, "Back off, Edward. He doesn't want you. Let's face it, why would he, when he has me? You need to accept it... you two are over. I'm what he wants."_  
_  
In that second, I saw red. Before I knew it, we were on the floor, punches were being thrown by both of us. Riley was screaming at us to stop. I pulled away from Paul, leaving him on the floor, as I looked at Riley, I saw that he was torn between who he should go to._

_I made the choice for him, "I hope that you will both be very happy together. Truly, you deserve each other."_

_With that, I turned, leaving the flat. Once on the street, I wiped the blood from my lip, walking aimlessly around. People wished me Happy Christmas, I ignored them._

_I sat on a park bench, numb at what had happened. I fished my mobile out of my pocket, scrolling through numbers, not knowing who I could actually ring at this time on Christmas Eve. I put my phone back into my pocket, my fingers brushing against the keys to the shop. That is where I would spend Christmas._

_I walked back to the city __centre,__ ignoring all the happy people heading home. Once there, I let myself in and went through to the back room. I curled up on the sofa and I let my tears fall, fearing that they would never stop. I laid there in the cold and my anguish kept me company._

I was brought back to the present by hearing my name being called over the sound system. When I looked, Sam motioned for me to join him on the stage. Jake was already there waving at the crowd. I stepped out, blinded by the bright lights, the crowd continued cheering, whistling and clapping.

I smiled and waved. I knew that a lot of the regulars liked me, so I put on the smile that would keep Sam happy.

Sam gave a speech, thanking everyone for coming here and supporting the LGBT community. He thanked us all for working so hard to keep the drinks flowing and the customers happy. Jake grinned at that part. I sniggered along with the rest of the staff and one or two of the regulars at the comment. We all knew how hard Jake worked to keep people happy... it was no secret.

As Sam finished his speech, we all turned to leave the stage. As I stepped through the curtain, I glanced through the open door that led outside. I was shocked to see a familiar figure standing there.

My breath caught in my chest as I struggled to keep my composure. He was leaning back against the wall, one leg bent sticking out at a right angle with his foot on the wall under his arse. He was holding a bottle of water in one hand, he took a long drag on the cig he had in his fingers. I remembered those lips all too well. I was truly mesmerised by him; never thinking that I would see him again...despite desperately wanting to. Now he was here, standing no more than six feet away from me. My heart skipped a beat.

I was jostled as the rest of the bar crew passed me. Jake hung back to see what had caught my attention, "Ooh, who's the hottie? Might have to go and introduce myself. Isn't he one of the dancers?"

I turned to face him, opening my mouth to speak, only to find my words drowned out as a voice that sent pleasurable chills through, me sounded right in my ear, "Hey, there you are. I've been looking for you." He stood so close to me, causing my skin to tingle. He extended his hand out to Jake, "I'm James. You are?"

Jake looked shocked, "J... Jacob. Nice to meet you. Edward never mentioned you."

Feeling myself blush my eyes immediately sought the ground. I couldn't look at Jake.

Hearing his name for the first time, it sounded so sexy as it fell from his lip. James... yes, that suited him perfectly.

"He wouldn't. He didn't know that I would be here tonight. I wanted to surprise him."

I managed to mutter under my breath, "You sure managed that." I looked at him, a huge smile on James' face as he snaked his arm around my waist. I shuddered in response at his touch. My body remembered him and how he made me feel before he left, leaving me aching for more.

Jake obviously wanted to know more, as did I. Like where he vanished to that night. I wasn't one for one night stands or quick fumbles in dark alleyways. That night at the hotel was a first for me. I'd felt something for him; I'd hoped that he felt the same. Now he was standing here behind me, making it sound like he'd planned this all along.

"So, how did you two meet? He certainly kept you quiet. Then again, I can understand why." Jake was looking him up and down with greedy eyes. I felt anger starting to build. James had just clearly said that he'd come to meet me and yet, here was Jake, flirting.

James said coolly, "Oh, we met at a Christmas party a few weeks back. Look, I gotta dash and do the closing number. I'll come find you at the bar, Edward. Please don't vanish on me." He leaned into me, whispering in my ear. "I'm sorry I did that to you. I can explain... promise. He kissed me on the lips before he dashed off in the direction of back stage. All I could do was watch as he walked away from me. I was dumbfounded - this was the man that I couldn't get out of my head following our all too brief encounter. Now my brain was being assaulted by the memory of the cloakroom and his mouth on me.

_It was another boring Christmas party night until I saw him. He was sat there, laughing and joking with a table full of other people, all having fun at their companies expense. He caught my attention when I was clearing the empty wine bottles from the table he was at. He simply smiled at me, which was enough. I looked around to see who he could be smiling at, surprised when I __realised__ it was me. He laughed before turning his attention to the attractive woman sat next to him. He then stood from the table, fixing me with a stare he discreetly motioned for me to follow him. He was good looking and incredibly sexy with short cropped blonde hair, wearing a suit. Damn... I was gone._

_I followed him out of the ballroom without thinking, staying a little way behind just in case I had read the signals wrong. I mean... this was not my style at all._

_He kept looking over his shoulder to check I was following... I was. I deposited the empty wine bottles on the bar telling my colleague, "I'm taking my break."_

_I headed out into the reception area to see where my mystery man had gone. I couldn't see him anywhere and was just about to leave when the door to the cloakroom opened. He stuck his head around it, beckoning for me to follow him, with a wide grin on his face._

_I did... eager with anticipation and growing lust. All caution thrown to the wind._

_Once inside, it was dark, but not impossible for me to see. Before I could speak, he grabbed hold of me, pushing me against the door. His kisses were rough and needy, not that I was complaining and I kissed him back._

_Our tongues intertwined, my hands went straight to his arse, grabbing it, pulling him closer to me. We kissed and I felt my erection straining against the confines of my trousers, wanting to be free, so I thrust my hips into him, showing him my blatant need for him. The response I got, took my breath away. He pulled me away from the door and pinned me into a corner before covering me with his body. He moved his lips from my mouth, to my neck. His stubble rubbed against my skin and I was soon shaking from the desperate need within me... for him._

_He pulled back to look at me and as I caught my breath, I looked into his eyes, seeing my own desire reflecting back at me in his. There was no need for words... not that I was capable of any._

_I was wondering what would happen next. Mentally going through the options wondering if he had a room booked at the hotel. My questions were partially answered when his hand palmed my dick through my trousers and I let out a low groan in response. He continued to rub my straining groin before moving his hand to my belt, slowly unbuckling it before unzipping my trousers. He managed all this without once taking his eyes from mine. I felt like they were boring into my soul. _

_I shifted my hips slightly so that he could pull my trousers and boxers down. I winced as my dick sprang free. Then, his hand was there making contact with my flesh. I groaned deeply. I knew that no one would hear me over the incessant sound of the disco, but I kept my vocals to a minimum. The last thing I wanted was to be caught._

_His hand moved swiftly over my erection. When he touched the sensitive head, I wanted to scream, but instead, bit my lip and swallowed the noise. I closed my eyes, tilting my head back, my hands splayed out on the wall for support. He continued to tease me. I wanted this so badly, but knew that he would not be rushed. Then I felt his lips make contact, with the now, overly sensitive flesh and I felt a shudder through my whole body. _

_When he finally took me fully into his mouth, it felt amazing. He worked up and down my length, teasing and tormenting me for what felt like hours, but in reality it was minutes._

_He swirled his tongue around the head and my hips instantly bucked forward and I thrust further into his mouth. I expected him to choke or pull back, but he didn't. He simply held my hips firmly... to stop me moving further. I managed to look down at him and the sight was amazing. This gorgeous man was kneeling before me, with my dick in his mouth, making me feel like we were the only people in the world right now._

_He started move quicker and I could feel my orgasm starting to build as my balls tightened. I tried to move my hips, but he held me so firmly that I couldn't and he stifled a chuckle, the vibrations went right through me. I lost it... there and then._

_My orgasm ripped through me; I couldn't give him any warning as I came long and hard into his mouth. I expected him to pull away, but he didn't. Once I was spent, I struggled to get my breath, thanks to the intensity of the feelings coursing through me. I felt my legs start to tremble, but his hands dug deeper into my hips as he held me up. _

_Somewhere, I thought that I heard a mobile phone message alert, but I couldn't be sure. I heard him mumble under his breath, but I couldn't catch what he was saying. I could feel his breath, hot against my cheek as he spoke words I could not make out through my __blissed__ out haze. Then a gentle kiss was placed on my cheek._

_When I managed to regain some form of control over my body, I opened my eyes, expecting to see him standing there before me, but he was gone and I was alone. I hadn't heard or felt him leave, but then again, I wasn't really capable of anything much._

_I quickly pulled my boxers and trousers back up, fastening them before I tucked my shirt back in. I ran my hand through my hair trying desperately to look like everything was normal. As I stepped back into the room where the party was being held, my eyes scanned the room, but I couldn't see him and I really didn't want to ask anyone where he had gone. I had missed my chance, he was gone... once again, I was alone. I struggled to remember what he had said to me. Now sure that he had said something...I just didn't hear it._

I shook this from my mind as I made my way behind the bar and started serving as many people as possible, trying to keep my mind from thinking about James and that night... for now.

Once the finale to the drag show started, the bar got quieter. I said I was going to collect glasses knowing that this would mean I could get closer to the stage and be able to see him perform. I made my way through the people, collecting glasses and bottles as I went, all the time keeping one eye on the stage... on James.

Watching him was amazing. He had on a pair of black trousers, a black waistcoat and bowler hat as he danced alongside the drag queen who was clearly channeling her inner Christina Aguilera as she mimed perfectly the theme to Burlesque. He really was something else to watch and I couldn't take my eyes off him as he performed every move perfectly.

At one point, despite the bright lights, he saw me. He winked at me before flashing a killer smile that made me go weak at the knees.

Embarrassed at his very public display and pleased by the fact that it pleased me so much, I made my way back to the bar. Once there, I continued to serve the ever demanding customers that seemed to be coming through the door constantly. Tonight felt like it was never going to end.

I glanced at the clock, knowing that my shift was due to finish at 11:30 pm, with the pub closing at 2 am. Right now, the end of my shift could not come quickly enough. I hated working long shifts like this, but I needed the money... pure and simple.

Meeting James was an unexpected bonus. I hoped I hadn't misread the signals coming from him. I mean... was he just being nice as he was embarrassed at bumping into me again? If I could just get through the next hour, I would be able to speak to him and find out the truth.

The roar and applause of the crowd was deafening, so I knew that the cabaret had come to a close. I hoped that James would come to the bar so I could talk to him between serving customers, but I was upset that he didn't. Then again, I wondered why he should bother. I mean... what was I to him, really? I was probably just another guy that was willing and eager. He was sexy and would not be short of attention... I was nothing to him.

I got on with serving people, doing my best to keep a smile on my face. I kept thinking he was here, so maybe my luck was changing.

I moved to the other end of the bar. I started serving the people who were waiting and was faced by a sea of people waving ten and twenty pound notes at me. I had twenty minutes of my shift left and I could only think of James. I hoped that he would want to get a drink, but not here, under the watchful gaze of all these people. No... That would not work. They had never seen me with anyone and I wasn't about to give them anything to talk about now.

I moved to serve the next person waiting, not looking at them. Big mistake, "Pint of Carlsberg."

I recognised the voice and my heart went to my shoes... Riley.

I looked at him, our eyes finally meeting. This was the first time that I had seen him since last Christmas Eve. A day that I tried to erase from my memory forever. I had moved out of the flat we shared... I hadn't seen him since.

Keeping away from the places I knew he would be. I lost friends in the split, but it was what I needed... a clean break.

Looking at him now, I saw everything that I first fell in love with. His smile and the long lean lines of his body.

As he stood before me, I had to remember just how much he hurt me. I hissed at him, "What do you want?"

"I suppose that a Christmas kiss is out of the question?"

I glared at him, "Do you want to drink that pint or wear it?"

He smiled at me apologetically, "Sorry, Edward, I didn't mean anything. I know that..."

Slamming the pint of lager down in front of him, I held my hand out, "£3.10."

He handed me a five pound note, "Keep the change. Can we talk... please? I've tried to call you, but you changed your number. I made a mistake with Paul. I'm sorry... I never meant to..."

I thrust his change back, "I don't want your change. I don't want your apologies or to talk to you. Now if you don't mind, I'm working."

He reached out, grabbing my wrist, "Please? I know that I am probably the last person you..."

"What... want to talk to? You got that right. You threw us away, Riley... not me. Now leave me the fuck alone before I have security throw you out."

Then I saw James was stood behind Riley. I wasn't sure how much of it he'd heard over the loud music.

He was looking at me with a quizzical look on his face as he asked, "You okay? Is this one giving you any trouble?"

Riley looked around taking in James as he stood there unmoving. It felt like they were sizing each other up, getting ready to fight.

Eventually, Riley backed down. He took his pint and stepped away from the bar vanishing into the crowd. He broke my heart a year ago. That took time to mend and heal although, there were times I doubted that it ever would. I truly thought that I felt nothing for him now, but seeing him again, confused me. But there was James, a man that I wanted to get to know better. Not just for the meaningless sex that was so easy to have on the scene these days. I had never been one for that side of things. It just wasn't me... I wanted more, I wanted James.

I continued serving as many people as possible before my shift ended. Once it was, I looked around, but couldn't see James anywhere. I just hoped that he was still here... somewhere.

I made my way to the toilets as I needed to piss. I walked past the DJ and Phil called me over to him, "The hot blonde dancer was looking for you. Man, you got lucky there, Ed... he's hot."

"Did you see where he went? I can't find him." I was greeted with a shrug of the shoulders and raised hands.

I made my way quickly downstairs to the toilets, mentally kicking myself for losing him for a second time. _How could I be so stupid?_

After I was done, I went to go back upstairs to get my clothes, but as I reached the bottom of the stairs, I heard someone behind me and as I turned around, I was pushed up against the wall where lips pressed against mine. It was darker down here as it's the basement and the lighting, or lack of it. Well, let's just say, it allows some privacy and quieter corners.

The kiss felt great, so I returned it. More out of instinct and need than anything.

Then something felt wrong, so I pushed them away. I was horrified when I saw Riley standing in front of me looking a little smug, "Happy Christmas, Edward. I forgot just how hot you were when you kissed me."

"What the fuck, Riley! You really need to understand that we are over! Done! Finished! I want-"

I never got to finish what I wanted to say as someone walked up the stairs away from us. It wasn't until I saw him turn around briefly, that I realized it was James. _Shit! What had_ _he seen? _More importantly, what did he think that he had seen?

Turning to Riley, I spat, "Don't ever come near me again! Do you hear me? I have no feelings for you... None! You mean nothing to me!"

I didn't wait for a response, so I ran up the stairs two at a time, frantically looking around the bar for James. I went to the DJ and the bar staff, but they hadn't seen him. I ran backstage to the dressing rooms, but he wasn't there, either. Once again, I had lost him. This time, it was entirely my fault. He was gone and there was nothing that I could do.

With a heavy heart, I went and quickly got changed back into my jeans and shirt, grabbing my coat before I made my way downstairs and through the bar. I checked one final time to see if I could see James before I left. I knew that I had blown it. He had to have seen Riley kiss me and thought that we were together. There was no way that I could put him right... explain what happened.

As I stepped into the cold night air, I heard the sound of the bells of Leeds Parish Church ringing, telling people that it was Christmas Day.

I let out a sigh, knowing that I would have to be back at work in a few short hours. At least I wouldn't be alone.

I called a taxi firm and was told it would be there in ten minutes.

Lighting up a cig, I waited on the edge of the pavement for it to arrive. I blocked out the shouts of_ 'Merry Christmas' _from the people who were making their way, either home or to the next pub.

I felt a pair of hands slide around my waist. I quickly spun around, "Riley! I told you to leave me the fuck alone!"

What I saw, was James standing back, his hands raised in mock surrender, "Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you. Who's Riley? Is he the guy from the toilets?"

My eyes dropped to the pavement, "He's...he's no one to me. He is my past. I thought that you had left me... again."

"What do you mean? I don't understand... tell me." He pushed me verbally.

I struggled to vocalise the words, but somehow they came out, "The night we... erm... the night we met. You were there, and then you were gone. You never said goodbye; you just left."

I knew that I sounded needy, but I had thought about that night ever since. I wanted to know what happened to make him vanish like that, "You thought that I had _left_you? I need to explain why I left so quickly. My ex and I are close." My eyes frantically made contact with his and he reassured me, "No, no, it's nothing like that. We are just friends... nothing more. Carlisle contacted me... he needed me. His sister was in a car accident. I couldn't say no; I had to go to him... to her." His voice caught in his throat as he struggled to get the words out in haste.

I asked in a low voice, "Is she okay?" I couldn't look at him; the pain was written on his face.

He stepped closer to me and lifted my chin so that I was looking at him, "She's fine - minor injuries. It looked far worse than it was... luckily." He paused for a moment, making sure I was paying attention, "So, Edward, do I get a Christmas kiss or do I need to get some fucking awful plastic mistletoe? 'Cause you know what, I hate the stuff, but for you, I would make an exception."

Looking into his eyes my hands found his hips and I pulled him towards me, "No. No mistletoe."

With that we kissed and I felt alive once again.

The taxi I was waiting for pulled up and the driver beeped his horn. Not that we stopped kissing. No, we carried on, not caring who saw.

The second time the driver beeped, he wound the window down and shouted, "C'mon! I haven't got all night. Do you want this taxi or not?"

We pulled apart, looking at each other. Over James' shoulder, I could see Riley standing outside the pub looking at us with wide eyes. He looked pleadingly at me, but I knew that he was my past. I needed to move on with my life. James was here... he was real. I wanted to get to know him better...this felt right. I wanted more and he was worth taking a chance on. I mean... I had nothing to lose but possibly everything to gain with such a leap of faith.

I looked at James and without speaking, we both moved, climbing into the back of the taxi. I gave the driver my address and we set off. Some drunken woman screeched '_Happy Christmas!' _at the top of her lungs.

I turned to look out of the back window of the taxi. I saw Riley standing there, watching us leave. I knew that this Christmas would be one that I would enjoy and I couldn't wait to see what the New Year would bring.

* * *

**Authors note**

Beta'd by Dreamofrob10 who doesn't normally 'do' slash but is making an exception for me! MWAH! Pre-read, encouraged, cajoled and prodded by Yulliah – who won the competition with her piece – go read it! Thanks to both of you, I wouldn't have done this without your encouragement and support.


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